Its been a while

Its been a while since I last blogged.
Well, just to share some stuff I came across for the past six months.


since new sem started, I been busying with all kinda stuff- intern, 21st party preparation, school works, SMF, netball, Christmas planning, KL trips, Penang getaway.. Just to keep and distract myself from the dreadful feelings and memories.

somehow there's still 10% of my time I cant stop thinking of everything we had been through, subconsciously.

Happy 21st, Merry Christmas, Happy New year, Happy Chinses New year.. were what you been sending to me, so what's next? Happy valentines day? Yea, today is the day.

Life is unpredictable, and so humans.
everything is changing every second, am I cherishing every moment every second I had and do sth really meaningful , this is what I been self-reflecting and asking myself every single day.




at least for now, I know what should I focus on, keep on track and moving towards the goal and what I've been always looking for.

BE PATIENT< LIVE LIFE< HAVE FAITH

Broken heart become brand new

Time to settle down?
finally its the day before I ended my lonely trip
not that lonely along the journey though
cus I've met so many ppl around the world
exchanging diff ideas and culture

start to feel the stress that im gonna face when I go back
Insomnia throughout the night before flying off
Its been a while since I left the place, its been a while since I left you
Fears and worries are flowing into my mind and make my stomach so sick again

Somehow there's a voice keep reminding me that You had prepare everything for me
I am ready for home and every single challenges that coming soon
I don't feel homesick at all though
just miss my precious brother
he's the one who never failed to make me smile

the conclusion for my trip in new Zealand and Aus:
I never regret for travelling alone oversea for so long, in fact, I would do it again;
I'd learnt to let go so many things that affected me so much and make me stronger than I do;
especially when my result was out, was so surprised that I could take it even that I failed one mods and still have to extend for another year;
finally I realized where's my faith actually come from;
It really build up my independence and trained me well to live alone;
lastly I'd achieved two of the goals in my life which is bringing my parents backpacking around NZ and I did Bungy for my 21st

but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

ISAIAH 40:31

 

what faith can do

 

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Learn to be strong and fearless than you do.

     

God I look to You
I won't be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to You
You're where my help comes from
Give me wisdom, You know just what to do

The 55th day I been in New Zealand, the third week in bay of island- PAIHIA

days in paihia is somehow lonely and emo, i choose not to say it as bored, cus i really learned a lot from my host and enjoy myself here. The only sad case is i am staying alone in my little cottage, enjoying my isolated life. woke up in the early morning, prepare puppies meal, do some cleaning job, horse riding, driving around the island, do some groceries shopping, watch movies...
Life is just so simple and relax here, hardly imagine im going to face the horrible causeway jam in a month later. LOL.

There's two things i figure out and realized in the past few weeks, could be the purpose of God placing me here -to rest completely in his wonderful creation, every morning i woke up, i feel so blessed to be here, although every nightmare freak me out, although the cold weather make me so sick, but somehow i feel so blessed for being here, especially all the unknown, surprise that he had prepare for me ahead.

 

Everything is so unpredictable, things can change in a second, especially human. So what actually change your personality and your mind? what makes you to be another person? what happened on me two months ago is actually a trivial matter, small little trial in my life. Compare to my host, Bucko,

when the woman that you loved and been tgt for so long, change entirely after having two kids and decide to divorce with you, i can tell how hurt and the pain he'd been through when he share with me about his marriage. When your partner refused to compromise whatever you do and say, what's the point of being tgt? if such situation keep going on after marriage, where is the commitment that both had agreed while signing the piece of paper? Does "commitment" exist in a r/s nowadays? i doubt so. Cus he/she just tend do take for granted for what you do for them. So what's the point of cherishing and loving them? 

 

Love your enemy, love the one who hurt you deeply. I swear i cant. However, in God's forgiveness, I've learnt what is forgive and forget. I am not even fit to hate my enemy or judge them, cus im not the perfect one either.

 

I can't run away from my fear forever, so lift up your head and face it, Sylvia Teong.

Learn to be strong and fearless than you do.

 

 

 

view from my house in Paihia

Hi, Kiwi! Hi, New zealand!

Two months ago, I was struggling with that idiot shitty exam
Two month later, I am traveling alone in New Zealand

Its the awesome scenery that set me free.
Its the people that I met cheer me up.
Its the bff who take very good care of me to ensure that I eat well everyday here.

Thank you dear Lord, for bringing me here, in the right time, in the right place.

I cherish every moment here, every single ppl that I met, every single crazy stuff that I had done  with a bunch of mad ppl, every single place that I had been, every single things gonna be wonderful and awesome throughout my trip I suppose.

Made up my mind to blog and share about the story throughout the trip.

对你妥协就是对我的伤害

对你妥协就是对我的伤害

regret for dropping the job
a little regret for taking up this course
pretty regret for missing out so many nice ppl and events that i ought to join
kinda regret for not insisting my dream
terribly regret for spending my time on you

hiding the truth from you is the cruelest thing that i have ever done to myself
trying to be strong yet you can perceive my weakness thoroughly

i just hope i can still hold on till the day i leave
i miss those who being my side who always supporting and encouraging me
The one who know me well

ppl trying to show concern, but i choose to become isolated
so im no longer the cheerful, hyepractive monkey sylvia
or i have no such characteristic before
depression, i rather say bye to you than continue tourturing myself


TOLERANCE, i need you to ease my hot temper and bad attitude towards others
PATIENCE, i need you to understand a person without having prejudice against him/her
FAITH, i need you to achieve my dream
LOVE, i need you to forgive the person i hate and get rid of all the evil thoughts,selfishness
Jesus, i need you cus you are all and the only one i have in my life

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Hello, it's been a while since my last post which is like 8mths ago?Lol.
Been struggling for exam these days. Things nv get better and better for me as well.
Keep reminding myself for not complanning, losing temper and no more sigh!
Just wanna be stronger than i can. Cant wait to fly away 2 months later. To be frank, you will nv know how sick i feel towards everything right now.

If everything can restart, i swear i will stay as far away from you as i could.
sometimes your selfishess and ignorance just make me ill.
i doubt u can spell the word "dissapointment".

soft hearted me, just forgive and forget, or perhaps i still hate you in the deepest of my heart.