Learn to be strong and fearless than you do.

     

God I look to You
I won't be overwhelmed
Give me vision to see things like You do
God I look to You
You're where my help comes from
Give me wisdom, You know just what to do

The 55th day I been in New Zealand, the third week in bay of island- PAIHIA

days in paihia is somehow lonely and emo, i choose not to say it as bored, cus i really learned a lot from my host and enjoy myself here. The only sad case is i am staying alone in my little cottage, enjoying my isolated life. woke up in the early morning, prepare puppies meal, do some cleaning job, horse riding, driving around the island, do some groceries shopping, watch movies...
Life is just so simple and relax here, hardly imagine im going to face the horrible causeway jam in a month later. LOL.

There's two things i figure out and realized in the past few weeks, could be the purpose of God placing me here -to rest completely in his wonderful creation, every morning i woke up, i feel so blessed to be here, although every nightmare freak me out, although the cold weather make me so sick, but somehow i feel so blessed for being here, especially all the unknown, surprise that he had prepare for me ahead.

 

Everything is so unpredictable, things can change in a second, especially human. So what actually change your personality and your mind? what makes you to be another person? what happened on me two months ago is actually a trivial matter, small little trial in my life. Compare to my host, Bucko,

when the woman that you loved and been tgt for so long, change entirely after having two kids and decide to divorce with you, i can tell how hurt and the pain he'd been through when he share with me about his marriage. When your partner refused to compromise whatever you do and say, what's the point of being tgt? if such situation keep going on after marriage, where is the commitment that both had agreed while signing the piece of paper? Does "commitment" exist in a r/s nowadays? i doubt so. Cus he/she just tend do take for granted for what you do for them. So what's the point of cherishing and loving them? 

 

Love your enemy, love the one who hurt you deeply. I swear i cant. However, in God's forgiveness, I've learnt what is forgive and forget. I am not even fit to hate my enemy or judge them, cus im not the perfect one either.

 

I can't run away from my fear forever, so lift up your head and face it, Sylvia Teong.

Learn to be strong and fearless than you do.

 

 

 

view from my house in Paihia